Who are we

There are a few who are satisfied that we call unambitious. There are few that aren't shaken by peer opinions and we call them nonchalant. There are those who see the grey shades and we call them of depth and tolerance, making those of black and white naive and idealist. There are those who are eccentric as they do not merge with the community norms. There are those and these types, and we mange a way to categorize them all even those who do not fit a category, we shall make them one. We have to rationalize everything, we have to label it, leaving people to exist with no judgment is out of our capabilities. 

The wise one says
'let your name be your only label’

my community

It is sad but it is true. I live in a community the dwells on the wrongs and relish in others misery. There is no more dialogue of growth, all that matters is the other. I sat amongst people who did not actually talk to each other back talked about the people around them. I might not relish in gossip, but i can endure it, yet i cant believe a whole dinner passed without one useful conversation. i learned nothing about the people i sat with but i learned plenty about their judgements of people. I hate this community living, i do hate these conversations.

To Be almost Vegeterian

I'm a person of purpose, everything i do have a reason despite it seeming whimsical and me giving a nonchalant attitude. The truth is i have a million reasons.

For instance my decision to be almost vegetarian is mainly to do with health & eating habits. I have the worst habits ever, i'm very picky. Every time we go out i have to ask for so much of the dish to be removed. I do not have a favorite cuisine, my fav food is icecream. I like bland food, or extremely sour & salty. I can't have to much herbs or spices at all. i don't eat red meat, and another lean meat have to be grilled. I might have only eaten 6-10 type of vegetables. Other than that i love fruits!!!
There have been weeks where i lived on candy only or chips.

i want to break this habit, as its not helping my energy levels at all i have very low stamina. Last year i was vegetarian for a month i heard a speaker talking about picking up new things for 30 days its good way to develop a habit. I felt lighter with more energy and above all the month i didnt get sick!.

The only thing i missed was fish, and that's why i'm having open friday, so i can eat meat then. I'm not giving up much because most meats i do not eat. i will expand my vegetables. I will still have eggs and milk.

I believe that we consume to much fish, some type are already over fished & some are always exported considering we have no rivers in the region. Chicken is dosed with growth hormones which isn't ideal to say the least.

I will not assume a higher morality role in all of this, all i want is to is to eat more vegetable & loose weight in the process & eat cooked food rather than bought. Being vegetarian will limit my quick bites, it will make me plan my meals, and by any luck in 2 months time it will become a habit & automated.

Nature

I was on a flight, the plane tipped and i felt i was in the sky, i was flying thru the sky the stars looked bigger than i ever seen, and they weren't up they were all around us. All i could think of 'is that truly the sky are these really stars', they looked so close for the picking they shinned so brightly. I felt so alive yet so insignificant in the beauty of this sky.

I was on a hike, at the very end of the trail there was a a skinny tree coiled over this strong tree trunk it was pale it looked dead. It felt like a broken women who had loved this man and held to him with dear life. She looked like she wasted her life waiting for him to notice her but he didn't ever flinch, and she died just there and still he wasn't moved. It made me sad to think that anyone would spend a life time in misery in search of happiness.

I might a times see more than there is, I might reflect beyond the surface, i might be just eccentric.

The wise one says
'the one that sees more than there is, is a searching soul'

To Pray

In the moment of despair in a state of helplessness we all pray, those of religion and those of nothing... We choose to believe that prayers are our last hope. It may bring no relief it may result in no cure, but it provides a hope you once lost. I had prayed for a cure, then i had prayed for time, i prayed for relief and i had prayed of for an end to the suffering. Suddenly I'm praying for what i started with wishing away.

I can choose that either there is no one to hear those prayers, or I could believe my prayer were not answered. I can believe anything I want to anything that brings solace. The truth to the matter what we had little control on we will end up with having no control on at the end. What you can't change with action your thought will have less impact on them.

I rather pray in thanks for my life, for all the blessings, and when despair i let it be, for i believe what is written remains and we fall in our paths as we do.

the wise one says
 'there is no stronger bond than certainty'

as we stand

We may stand alone we might stand together. In the distance one, two or many aren't visible all that matters is that someone out there still stands. Life is for the living, and what once was, now lies under the sand as it holds very little value other than the ripple in the ground. Life goes on with or without your. Fighting to live isn’t the point, fighting to be significant to matter to be more than a ripple in the world is what your strive for. We might matter in our context of living. We must fight the great fight to live on. Surrender is not an option glory or death is our end. Stand and fight of the demons of defeat, hold on and live on….

the wise one says 'the glorious sea waves always crashes into speckles of sand solider'

Between the colored lines, the grey shadows emerge
In the silence of night, the forgotten truth creeps out

for a moment, we had lost count
it is as many as it ever was

yet what we lost is greater
than what we ever had

the absurdity of I

We all exist, we all aspire to be significant, some end up being magnificent. I put no claim on any notion of grandeur, I am merely me. In this over populated world, there isn't much left to discover and invent, there is so much love and hate all around. There are many families as much there are orphans,  there are opinions, belief and even science. The world exited before me and will continue after I perish. Will I matter in broad scheme of life?