Time to change

As the old man of India puts it “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” he was wise I must say, why do we always find it easy to point the faults of the world and what should be changed. As some one once said ‘Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” We should start with our selves, and only when we are truly with out fault do we get the right point out others faults…


As the Arabic saying goes “a cow doesn’t see but its friends tail”… which in sense mean you don’t see your faults but you reflect them on others.

So we need to recognize our own flaws and work on fixing them. Today I acknowledge the fact that I plan and plan and I never follow through. So from now on I’ll do my best to follow through with my plans… firstly I promise to exercise everyday and cut out junk food.

Then here I am I want a better world, not in a beauty queen sense of world peace. I want people to Donate blood, yet I myself don’t and because I complain about it. As the lady says “If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain.” I’m going to try to donate something else and maybe work for the cause.

It’s up to us, if your not motivated just do it and you’ll be motivated. Don’t over think it and analyze it don’t set up plans don’t promise just get on doing it. A someone says “To change one's life: 1. Start immediately, 2. Do it flamboyantly, 3. No exceptions.”

The wise one says
“ Change your self, and watch the world get better”

the songs

yesterday i decided that i should toughen up and try to bend my wrist for hopes of trying push ups! In attempts to get fit. To my surprise it bent! I was static and contemplating going to a gym the next morning, but the next morning I woke up with a numb finger an a bruised wrist didn’t see that coming, so push ups have to wait a couple of months I guess last time I could bend my wrist to do push ups was when I was 14! And I wasn’t any good at it.

So no much typing will happen so I’ll just paste my song list, some of you will like them. Start downloading




Better than me - Hinder ‘I told my self I won’t miss you, but I remember’

Dream - Priscilla Ahn ‘I was little girl, alone in my world who dreamed of a little home for me’

Swans - Unkle Bob
‘Cause I'm fake at the seams, lost in my dreams’

When I am gone - Sparrow House ‘Sit beside me now and promise me you won cry when I’m gone’

Bitter song,- ‘All I need is a bitter song to make me better, much better’

Nothing left to say - Keane ‘why do you lie, when you wanna die, when you hurt inside’

Hate me today - Blue October ‘I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head’

Superman - Brown Boy ‘I can be your superman, Just take my hand lets fly away’

Patience - Take it ‘My heart is numb has no feeling so while I’m still healing, just try and have a little patience’

High and low – Greg Laswell ‘And I look high and low for yesterday’

A bad dream – Keane ‘In a better time you could be my friend’

Save me - Bird York ‘for forty years this house has held the fire of love they shared, but now the garden slowly dies’

Set fire to the third bar – snow patrol ‘there is no peace that i've found so far, the laughter penetrates my silence’

Recognition – Susie Suh ‘We are just shadows, crawling through this mud called our life’

Sooner or later – Breaking Benjamin ‘I'll learn to love to hate it, I am not integrated’

Land Down Under – Men at work ‘Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?’

Lonely hearts still beat the same – the research ‘Lonely hearts still beat the same, it not romantic its just automatic’

Cold – Evans Blue ‘We're far too comfortable this time.. I'm far too obvious this time’

the Wise onse says
"Recognize your limitations and abide by them"

Sorry but I do not remember

Today I read the Editor’s column it was quite interesting. I didn’t ask the editor if she wrote it while having me in mind ‘which is quite possible’. So it was telling a story a person imagining what today would have been if they had someone around. Would they do what everyone is doing and be glad for a smile? And how they thought that the person they miss is very brave.

And all I felt is nothing, I don’t dwell on the past anymore, for I no longer remember. It’s sad as I might have spent the most time with her, but I don’t remember her. I miss the concept of her, but I don’t know whom I miss.

I forgot maybe the person everyone holds very dear to his or her heart, but all I can do is attribute it to bad memory. I bet there have been great moments but I can’t recall any. Is it my fault? I remember events I remember some special days, but I never remember who was around with me. What does that say about me? hmm did I ever care about anybody to keep them in mind. I remember Germany because of the tapes; I remember birthdays because of pictures. Do I remember anything on my own? No not really. I like what my friends are doing now documenting everyday with a picture, I might really need that to keep track of my life as I’m due to forget. I think in some way this blog will act as reminder of some memories.

The wise one says
“Memories are our own version of life”

how will you die?

Have u ever thought of how you’d die? Maybe some heroic death or just a mundane one.

Ever thought of you death's scenario; I’ve always imagined that I’d fall down the stairs and break my neck, or I’d collapse and hit my head on something hard and get and get a fatal head injury. Gruesome?

Yet I’m aware that most die in unexpected ways, but I see these scenarios very possible.

I don’t have any suicidal tendencies or thoughts, I have to stress that fact this is neither a cry for help nor a death wish. It’s simply something to wonder about.

the Wise one says
"it's not how you die, but how u've lived"

Selfish vs. Sadness

Staring at strawberry tart my thoughts drift away, between the water bottle and the pizza I remember 2004. I let my thought formulate a memory of a person, and then suddenly I remembered that in truth 2004 was his last year with us. My thought caught my smiles and laughter and I don’t know what I really felt, despair, guilt, or shame.

We are selfish beings no matter how much others agonize in their own despair we are still smiling. We eat strawberry tarts and leave half a pizza untouched, when there are others who only want crumbs of bread. We buy expensive gifts in diamonds and gold, where those who have dug up those gems are stricken by poverty.

We might really feel sorrow, grief and even sadness, but it’s funny how one day you find your self just smiling again and laughing. Then if we truly have moved on and we are over our grief, how come sadness can overtake us in a second? Then all of a sudden the same doubtful dream state you’ve gone through is back, and beyond all realities you hope that this sadness isn’t true as it’s all but a bad dream.

How can we complain about our hectic lives, when some are gasping for a last breath to live? Then we complain for not having the right physique, when some only pray to be healthy again.

The wise one says
“Sadness never vacates a heart for Happiness to occupy”

Why Do You Smoke?

Every time I see a person smoking I get a compelling urge to say/do something. We all know that smoking causes lung cancer and heart disease..etc, and more bluntly on some packets there is a “SMOKING KILLS” sticker on it; yet people smoke. I hope that in this part of the world more bold signs would be around not those size 5 read types that gives you a might be or not warning.

Shouldn’t closed areas ban smoking, for the obvious reason that less ventilation there is so whatever clean air there is; should be cherished! Now the pipe and cigar thing are more of a “gentlemen club” thing not a walk in park or mall type of smokes I’d say.

Worst off why do you smoke around children! I can’t fathom why a father or a mother would smoke around their children. Shouldn’t smokers be away from kids, yet there are plenty smokers hanging around kids all the time, in parks in shopping malls and in arcades.

Smoking does not only kill the smokers, but all that are around them too. I wouldn’t mind smoking if all smokers went and lived on remote island and took all of their fumes with them.

So smokers quit, or die before you kill.

The Wise man says
“ there is no smoke without fire”