People

In a world were everything is very interdependent, it's very hard to find on independence. we may sovereign a territory but at the end of the day we trade and communicate with other. That it perfectly understandable as no man is an island. What troubles me is when we can't identify out boundaries, where my life is so blurred with others. technology have made time & space irrelevant in our communications. I for one do not care much for 24 hr connection with the world. i like to be able to be not there when i'm not,i would like not to be found when i purposefully am avoiding people. I have many friends and i'm social with people when i the are around but at the same time i like spaces with no one but me, i like the quiet of an empty house. I like to work by my own schedule, not bound by others. I do not understand why do people feel that i owe them my time. if i say i do not want to hang out then simply i do not want that, doesn't mean i like you less or there is something wrong, just means i want to be alone.

Tomorrow came

There were days when we sat an placed or dreams and plans on the dinner plans like setting the plates on the table, We had big dreams i would have been a scientist, you would have been a doctor. We will find cures and it will resolve. We laughed at the elders jokes, we smiled at the promises tomorrow brought. The stories we had and the memories we made were all joyful. i remember being close we wanted nothing more than to live & grow old. No promises were made nothing was desired but tomorrow, and tomorrow came lacking you. i miss you.

the wise One says
"nothing is accomplished with tears'

the life not lived

i think i've slept half of it away, and i do mean that in a literal sense, as a baby i slept every couple of hours, asa teenage i slept 12 hrs a day, as an adult i sleep 10 hrs a day. i wasn't social as a kid now i have polished my social skill, i have friends everywhere or at least people that i talk too, but for every day i spend with people i need half a day away from them. i watch alot of tv, looking back i spend so much time doing nothing really. i think it's time to make every day count! stop planning a future and start living today, everything we do is a preparation for tomorrow which makes us lose today. At times i seem very social, but i don't really like people, or care for relationships, i'm not hypocrite but if i was my self then i'd be a cocoon. today i'm inspired, i'll do stuff i said i would do but never do today is the day!

holding on

this is the ideal age for exploration, a time to fight the good fight, for your ideals, causes and position in this world. yet i feel beaten down even before i had the chance to start. In time of delusions i seek the comfort of the silence and the thud of thunder for i am confused in my search. With a spirit as shallow as the skin that wraps it, for what lies a head seem a mirage. Importance have lost it urge and meaning. for the frustration and pain that the path hold is suffocating, an overwhelming feeling of escaping ones skin is urgent. a tingly feeling of a long gone soul, prickles the insides with helplessness.

not that the future promises changed, nor the current situation has taken a bad turn, all remains quiet the same, but a fragile structure is facing its weaknesses for the first time.

truth of the matter, i have no energy to argue, no strength to care,

the wise one says
'for tonight might seem dark, tomorrow with certainty there shall be sunshine'